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When The Right People Are in Your Life The Sky Is The Limit


I am coming up to the three year mark of moving to Australia. Time has flown down under, and I have been reflecting greatly on my time. A lot of growth has occurred, my life's trajectory has changed immensely, and my overall outlook on life is night and day to when I first moved here.


As I look at what my life looked like in 2018 before coming over to now, the two things that stand out the most to me, are the people in it and I am no longer battling depression and mental health issues. My mental health is directly linked to the people around me, but it isn't the only reason.


Our mental health is only a biproduct of our own thoughts. Yes, we need help sometimes getting out of our rut, but ultimately, we have the power to change them if we so desire. We have the choice to accept help or reject the help, and when we are ready we will pull ourselves out of the darkness with or without the help of others, we will do so, but I digress.


As I look at the difference of people in my close circle there are many things that stand out in the differences between everyone, and while everyone enters our life for one reason or another, I cannot emphasise the importance of having the right people. You do not need many in your inner circle, or my tribe as I like to refer to it, but you need HIGH QUALITY individuals.


Growth is difficult for many reasons, but sometimes we need to move forward and other people in our lives just aren't ready to move with us. We come to a crossroads of whether or not it is their time to come along the journey with us. This doesn't mean that we need to cut people off and never speak again. It simply means we grow apart for a time.


In my three years, I have met some incredibly influential and immensely successful people. These people are nationally successful and have international markets and there has been some invaluable advice passed on to myself and Carlie.


FIVE NEW FRIENDS


This was some of the most powerful advice I was given thus far. In life, we have a distinct relationship with people. They are either pushing you or you are pulling them. This does not mean there is no give and take, but there are probably people in your life that you are dragging along.


My best friend and I have been friends since we were eight. Twenty plus years of friendship and at times, we speak every single day for weeks at a time, Other times, we only speak once a month. This has no effect on our friendship because we always link back up when our lives align and it is as if we have never missed a beat. The reason our relationship works is because we both push each other in different ways. Mentally, we are constantly pushing knowledge on to one another, testing theories and ideas and general directions of where we want to head in life. Neither of us are pulling the other along in any aspect and thus, we both benefit from the relationship.


If you are climbing a ladder, is it easier to climb the ladder yourself or with someone on your back? I'm sure we can all relate to this at some point or another in our lives. We have all come across someone that we are having to pull along, whether a short time or over a longer period.


Let me be clear, everyone needs help and it is our job to help each other through life, but we must be certain this is not to our own long term detriment.


But it is important to make sure we are constantly meeting new people. New people have unique experiences that we can learn from. They have different views than the people around us. Constantly seek out what is different is important because in order to be well rounded and the best version of yourself, you will need all the variety of view, experiences and advice you can get. I have had the ability to sit down with incredibly successful entrepreneurs and be mentored by them. People that have starkly different lives now, to how I grew up. I am a firm believer that you cannot go where you have not been. You must learn from those who have traveled a similar path you want to and from there, you can blaze your own trail.


THE RIGHT PEOPLE WILL INSPIRE YOU TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF


I have always believed that the right people in your life, will make you a better person. I have always thought that to be the best version of yourself, your partner needs to be capable of pushing you to be the best version of yourself. Carlie without a doubt, (as you have figured out reading these posts) has pushed me in that direction. We are never done growing but who I am today, from who I was when I stepped off that plane in Brisbane, is night and day.


Carlie has inspired me to be the best version of MYSELF. I emphasise myself because for a long time I was trying to figure out who I wanted to be, instead of just being myself. It is disappointing to write those words, but I will own that. I am proud of who I am and if not for Carlie, this blog would have never started, the book would not be underway and I would have lived life at 10% of the capacity that I am living it now.


If not for Carlie being better than me, I would have never shed all of the hurt in my life. The guilt, anger and sadness would have continued to consume me and for how much longer I could have continued living I'm not sure, but every day I am thankful I don't have to ponder that. Without Carlie that never would have been possible.


Not only is Carlie a person who makes me better every day, but her brother Nathan (affectionately called Noof) has definitively become one of my best friends. Everyone needs a Noof in their life. He is easy to get along with, fun loving, he has a wide variety of interests but most importantly, he is someone that is constantly looking to improve himself as a person. He is constantly reading or listening to podcasts on health and nutrition, (he's a personal trainer by trade and still involved with basketball) but he is also an avid fan of mental improvement. He is well educated and knowledgable in business, current events and always has a fair understanding of today's political scene. In short, Noof has a wealth of knowledge that he only continues to grow, suggesting new books, podcasts and general people of interest for me to follow.


As such, since meeting Noof and getting to know him better, I have become a better person, constantly learning new concepts from both a physical and mental standpoint. Carlie's oldest brother Joel, has also provided great insight to many things, however, he lives outside of Australia for work so our relationship isn't as familiar as the one I have with Nathan.


THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU NEED TO THINK BIG


One definitive thing I can say about Carlie and her brothers- they think big, especially Carlie. You cannot represent your country if you don't think big. Carlie would get frustrated with me when I would think a goal was out of reach, and rightfully so. The difference between Carlie and I, no one has EVER told Carlie what she can and cannot do. Well they have, but that might as well have been said to a wall because she's not hearing it.


As an American, half the country earns less than $35k. My family was certainly under that line, but in Australia, Minimum wage works out to be about $40k. And that is the lowest paying jobs, most jobs start at $25 an hour. I know how many people struggle to pay their rent and how many people struggle to put food on the table. That's not a major issue here in Australia as the government does a good job with that. But as an American, earning $50-100k is living well. Australia is different.


So our upbringing's were a little different in a sense, with my focus on just getting enough money to get by, but Carlie will swing for the fences, and for that, I am becoming a better person as I have started swinging for those same fences.


KEEP POSITIVITY AND MORALITY AROUND YOU


This was a very important lesson I have learned in my years down under. I look back at my life before leaving the US and I see the negativity that I was surrounded by- no one worse than myself. Energy is a real thing, vibes are a real thing and you need to trust it. But even if you don't believe that, think of it like this- when we think or feel poorly about our our brain registers that, science has proven so. When other's tell us we cannot do something, regardless of how small or meaningless, that negativity registers in our brain.


THE NEGATIVITY BIAS in the brain refers to our brains registering negative events and emotions with more stimuli than it does positive sequences. A lot of this is done in the survival areas of the brain, to ensure our physical being recognises danger quicker than pleasure, i.e. the hot stove analogy and continues to live on.


For a long time, a lot of people in my life were overly negative. I do not fault them for this whatsoever, but the fact of the matter is the negativity can become contagious. I am guilty of it and chances are, you are guilty of it, too. This negativity can infect our own thought processes, making us perceive events to be more negative than they actually are. Negative emotions pop up more often and at a stronger rate than they should while positivity is suppressed. (Say hello to self doubt.)


As I am sure you can tell, these become extremely problematic. If you do not recognise the negativity in your life, it can be difficult to break the toxic cycles.


Conversely, positivity is infectious. When the people around you have the self awareness to take a moment, breathe and analyse a situation, the solution becomes much easier. The panic goes out the window and emotions do not interfere in our decision making process.


For those of you who do believe in energies and manifestation, positivity has the same flow negativity does. Positive beliefs, thoughts and proactive planning can lead to an influx of positive events that surround us. We can manifest opportunities, outcomes and even health (but those are stories for another time.) Positive thinking also has health benefits as reducing stress can lead to healthier cells and bodily functions. Stress and anxiety derived from negativity, can lead to auto immune diseases and more significant health problems if the problems don't subside.


LEARN FIVE NEW THINGS EVERY DAY


Last but not least, learn five new things each day. You will never be able to remember all five every day, but for the ones you do, it will make you a better, more interesting person. They can spark new interests that can turn into passions and hobbies over time. This can become the spark in your life that you have been unknowingly searching for.


Being well rounded will only help you in life. During their off season, athletes will often cross train- using skills from other sports that are more specialised help build the skills they need in their own sport. For instance, a basketball player may work with a tennis pro, in order to improve lateral quickness and strength, while they improve their skills on the basketball court as well.


So please be mindful of the people who are around you. Don't be afraid to ask yourself if you're heading in the direction you want to. If you are, that's great. If not, then make sure you look at yourself first and foremost and then at the people around you. If they do not have the same mission as you, that could be part of your problem. If you feel you are dragging people along, you will only cause yourself not to reach the goals you want to. Don't be afraid to make the hard decisions- it is the hard ones that make us the best versions of ourselves.


With love, as always. Be happy, Be healthy.